


How Many Ways Can I Portray Steve and Bucky Being GAY

by dontbecooler



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Returns, Coming Out, Fluff, Hurt, M/M, Recovery, Self-Hatred, Texting, im kind of being lazy sorry, multiple stories, theres a cute gif at the end if you want to skip to that, they get a cat in one of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 18:08:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13980586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontbecooler/pseuds/dontbecooler
Summary: A small collection of text RPs that I don't want to lose if my computer dies, putting out into the ether for all to enjoy.





	1. Tell Me

**Author's Note:**

> I'm doing a mass upload of all the completed stuff on my hard drive, because the other day it effed out and i was like what if one day I lose it all?? So it's not edited too much, sorry, but hopefully you can enjoy :) These are RPs from omegle yonks ago, if you remember being the other person and want credit, please don't hesitate to let me know!

**Have we ever been intimate? JB**

 

How do you mean? –SR

 

**I don't know. JB  
What... was the nature of our relationship before the war? JB**

 

It was... complicated. –SR  
We were close, Buck. Real close. –SR

 

**Intimate? JB**

 

Yes. –SR

 

**Okay. JB**

**During the war? JB**

Sometimes. But it was different. -SR  
We were different. -SR

**How do you mean? JB**

When I got you back from Hydra the first time, you didn't wanna be touched for a while. Would flinch anytime someone came near. -SR  
And I don't think that you liked me being bigger. It was unfamiliar. -SR

**I'm sorry. JB**

**I am different now. JB**

Don't be sorry, Buck. I understand. Don't blame you. -SR

**You miss it. JB**

I do. -SR  
But I don't expect things to be like they were. Times change. -SR

**It's more accepted now. JB**

Yeah. Sometimes I wonder what we'd be like if we were born in this time. -SR

**You know how Clint looks at Natasha? JB**

Yeah. -SR

**You look at me like that. JB**

I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. -SR

**You love me. JB**

That's one thing about me that won't ever change. -SR

**You loved me. Before the war and during. I'm not like that anymore. JB**

I loved you then, and I love you now. -SR

**You read my files. How can you? JB**

Because I know you, and you're not what they made you do. -SR

**Everyone says that, but they're wrong. JB**

**I knew what I was doing. JB**

**It was me behind those bullets. JB**

**How can you love that? JB**

Even if that's true, it doesn't change a damn thing. -SR

The only part of me that survived the ice was the part that breathed for you. Doesn't matter what you do. You're the biggest part of me. -SR

**You realize how sick that is? JB  
Loving a murderer. JB**

**Stop it. JB**

I'm a murderer too, these days. -SR

**You killed any little girls this last century Rogers? JB**

**Pretty blue dresses look haunting spattered with blood. JB**

**Stop it. You can't love me. JB**

Bucky, take a deep breath. -SR

**What we had? That's in the past. When I fought for you. Now? I was alive for myself. Kill or be killed. A rabid fucking dog, Steve. That was their favorite name for me. JB**

That's over. You're not that anymore. -SR

**Yeah? Says who? JB**

I know you don't love me anymore. But stop trying to scare me off like this. -SR

Just... stop. -SR

**I was in Egypt with you. You thought I was tucked up at home, no. JB  
The massacre of ten hostile agents that made your mission void that brought you home? JB**

**Me. JB**

Stop, Buck. I don't want to hear this. -SR

**Tell me you hate me. JB**

**That you can't look at me. JB**

You know I won't. -SR

Never. -SR

**I remember what it was like, holding her head, metal against soft blond hair. JB**

**She was crying, had pretty blue eyes just like yours. JB**

Stop. -SR

**One swift twist, there was no more crying Steve. No loose ends. JB**

Why are you doing this? -SR

**Tell me you want me to leave. JB**

**Tell me what I know you're thinking. JB**

I don't. -SR

Do you want to leave? -SR

**Tell me to leave. JB**

Why? -SR

Why do you want me to? -SR

**Because I deserve something more painful than death. JB**

I won't ever hurt you. –SR

Not if I can help it. -SR

**Why not?! It's what I deserve, it's what heroes do, hurt the villains. JB**

**You always do what the people want right? Kick dirt into my eyes Rogers, kill me with words. Please. Please. JB**

No. -SR

Do you care about me at all? -SR

Is there any piece of you that feels like you used to? -SR

Because if there is, stop this. It's hurting me more than anything. -SR

**Why won't you hurt me back? JB**

Because I love you. -SR

And maybe I'm weak, like they always used to say. -SR

**I don't want to hear that. JB**

**Not right now. JB**

You never will. -SR  
But I'm being honest. -SR

**I'm leaving, Steve. JB**

Will that make you happy? -SR

**Nothing will. JB**

**Nothing should. JB**

I don't want you to go. -SR

**I don't want to hear that from you. JB**

Do you want to go? -SR

**It's not on the list of things I want. JB**

Then don't go. -SR

We can get through this together. -SR

**I'm not going to do this with you. JB**

If you leave, I'll follow you. -SR

**You sure about that? JB**

I'll try. -SR

**I don't want that from you. JB**

Follow you to the end of the earth. -SR

I know. -SR

**[ _Delay_ ] Tell me you hate me and I'll stay. JB**

I can't. -SR

**Then I'm going. JB**

Kill me first. -SR

If you're leaving, you might as well. -SR

**Don't say that, don't be an idiot. JB**

You expect me to just keep on without you? Spending however many year I have left, knowing you're out there punishing yourself? -SR

I can't. -SR

**Maybe I won't be out there. JB**

Where will you be? -SR

**The end of the earth. JB**

Bucky... -SR

**Don't try Steve. JB**

**If I can't get what I deserve I'm no help to anyone. JB**

What do you deserve? -SR

**Ten hail Mary's and to pray at my bedside. JB**

**What do you think? JB**

I can't lose you again. -SR

**I need to hurt, Steve. To try and get recompense for the hurt I've caused. JB**

**Ask Stark what he thinks I deserve. JB**

**Then multiply it by ten. JB**

I don't give a fuck what Stark thinks. -SR

**I killed his parents. JB**

They made you. -SR

**I saw his eyes before the grenade blew up the car. JB**

I'm sorry. -SR

**I don't know what else to do. JB**

Stay. -SR

Learn to forgive, and move on. Do good, instead of punishing yourself. -SR

**I hurt so many people. I hurt you. I hurt those who want to be my friends.... I hurt them all. JB**

**It's unforgivable. JB**

Bucky, I forgive you. -SR

**Please, no. Don't. JB**

I do. Whether you want me to or not. -SR

**I'm so sorry Steve. JB**

Don't be. Just try to forgive yourself. -SR

**It's gonna be a long time. JB**

Good thing you've got a lot of years left then. -SR

**You're gonna stick around through all my shit? Every day could turn out like this one. JB**

‘Til the end of the line, Buck. -SR

**I ever called you an idiot before? JB**

All the damn time. -SR

**Don't forget it. JB**

I know you won't let me. -SR

**[ _Short Delay_ ] I wanna go back to how we were before. JB**

What do you mean? -SR

**I love you. JB**

Bucky. You're not ready for this. -SR

**I know. I know. JB**

You don't have to do any of this, or say that, for me. -SR

**I'm not just saying it. JB**

Okay. -SR  
Should still focus on yourself for now. -SR

**That's not... I don't like doing that. JB**

I know, but you need to if you wanna feel better. Work through everything. -SR

**It hurts. JB**

I know. I'm sorry. -SR

**Can I stay out tonight? JB**

Whatever you need, Buck. -SR

**I'll come back, in the morning. JB**

Just be safe out there, -SR

**Anything for you. JB**

**Tell me you love me. JB**

I love you. -SR

**Again. JB**

I love you, Bucky. -SR

**I love you Steve. I love you so much. JB**

We're gonna be okay, you and me. -SR

**I'll do my damnedest to get there for you. JB**

We'll get there together. -SR

**I love you. JB**

Love you too. -SR

 


	2. We've Adopted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this one they're also very gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made the impulse decision to just create a quick chaptered piece of all the misc in my folder, so separate text RPs in one place so I don't have to make a million works, thanks for bearing with my bs hahaha

You were right. SR

 

**About what? JB**

 

About the coming out thing... SR

Got my first hate mail. SR

 

**Shit. Steve I'm sorry. Just don't listen to it okay? Don't even read it JB**

 

I have. SR

 

**How bad is it? JB**

 

It's fucking hilarious. SR

I've been damned to hell twice, there's a fair bit of swearing. They think I don't already know I'm crazy unnatural with the serum and I don't think they realize it's 2015... SR

 

**Well... that's not so bad then right?  I mean we expected backlash. JB**

 

There's a bag of it. SR

I can't go onto Twitter at the moment. SR

 

**What? An entire bag? What's happening on twitter? JB**

**Shit. Don't go on twitter JB**

 

People fighting?? I don't know. SR

Did you go onto it? SR

 

**Yeah... JB**

 

You okay? SR

 

**Well, there's a lot of people who support you.  You're trending. JB**

 

They support you too. SR

They support us. SR

 

**Some of them. Some don't. JB**

 

Same with me, Buck. But we knew it was going to be like this. SR

I hope you're not reading any of it. SR

 

**...Of course I'm not? JB**

 

Bucky... SR

 

**Dammit Steve, some of the shit people are saying. JB**

 

Don't listen to it. Bucky, turn off your laptop. SR

 

**"He should have stayed frozen. Shove him back in the ice." JB**

**How can they... they have no idea. JB**

 

Turn it off. SR

Turn it off right now. SR

 

**I told you, you don't deserve that JB**

 

I'm not listening to it. SR

I'm out of the ice and I'm with you and I'm very happy. SR

 

**Yeah I know you are. No one should ever wish something like that on anyone. JB**

 

People are stupid, Buck. SR

Are you reading the good stuff? SR

 

**No. I stopped after I read the ice one. And the one about how I was a traitor who corrupted you. And clearly I don't love you, this is HYDRA playing the long con. JB**

**It was either stop or put my fist through the screen. Or worse yet actually reply. Which I nearly did. JB**

 

Hey Buck, guess what. SR

 

**What? JB**

 

I love you. SR

 

**I love you too. I promise I'm not a HYDRA plant. I loved you in 1935 too you know. JB**

 

Guess what Bucky. SR

 

**What? JB**

 

I love you very very much. SR

And dipshits on the internet can't change that. SR

People wasting their time with letters can't change that. SR

I love you. SR

And I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you. SR

 

 

**I love you too Stevie. I'm not going anywhere. Fought too damn hard to get back to you. JB**

 

Exactly. SR

 

**Look here's one: "Thanks cap for reminding me I can love who I want without shame". JB**

 

I thought I told you to turn it off. SR

But that's nice. SR

Are you still scrolling through it all? SR

 

**I… just had to know that it wasn't all bad JB**

 

Of course it wasn't going to be all bad. SR

 

**I know... but you wanted so badly to be an inspiration. I had to see for myself JB**

 

I am an inspiration, you dick head. What are you trying to say? :P SR

You're an inspiration too, Buck. Don't forget that either. SR

 

**You know what I mean you ass. When you told me you wanted to do this, you said it was ‘cause you wanted to set an example and be someone kids could relate to. JB**

**I just had to know that happened. JB**

 

I'm very relatable, Buck. I don't have to be gay to be a role model. No but... I can see what you mean. There's more positive stuff than negative, right? Like... Ten times more positive than negative. SR

 

**I think so. I actually did shut it down after I found that. I wanna read the good stuff but I think I need to calm down before I can deal with seeing most of the bad JB**

 

You okay? SR

None of the bad shit people say is true. SR

 

**Yeah I know. I thought I'd be tougher than this, you know? JB**

 

What are you talking about? You're the toughest guy I know. SR

People were saying pretty cruel stuff, don't expect to not be affected by that. SR

 

**Thanks Stevie... JB**

**Just... that asshole about wishing you'd never been found JB**

 

That was stupid, yeah. But his opinion doesn't matter. SR

 

**…Fuck what if you hadn't been found? What if you were still down there? And then you'd never have found me. You'd never have pulled me back. JB**

 

But I did, sugar. I was found and now we're together again. SR

 

**I know... I know... but I wouldn't even remember you.  I wouldn't even care. JB**

**Fuck. JB**

 

Buck, stop thinking about it. SR

 

**Can't just shut my brain off anymore Steve. JB**

 

Look, when I'm not needed at the Tower anymore, I'm gonna come home and run you a bath. Then I'm gonna kiss you stupid, and it'll all be okay. SR

 

**Yeah.  It'll all be okay.  JB**

**Are you okay? JB**

 

Yeah Buck. Nothing can really upset me when I know I'm still gonna be going home to my best guy. SR

 

**Now that's a damn lie and you know it. You've been upset plenty of times knowing full well I'm here.  JB**

 

Nothing some stupid stranger can say will upset me, then. SR

 

**Okay.  That I'll accept.  Even if I hate you for being level headed while I'm sitting here losing it. JB**

 

Have you had your pills today Buck? SR

Do you need to go lie down in bed? SR

 

**...I forgot them earlier. With all this.  I'm sorry.  JB**

 

If you take them you might feel a bit calmer. SR

It's okay that you forgot, don't need to apologize. SR

 

**Yeah you're right.  Probably help stop my brain sabotaging itself. JB**

 

[ _A Little While Later_ ] You taken them? You wrapped up in bed? SR

 

**Yeah I did.  They helped.  I'm curled up on the couch though.  Bed would feel to empty without you right now. Don't wanna deal with that.  JB**

 

That's understandable. I won't have to be away from you for too long, I promise. SR

Make yourself some of that cocoa I bought with extra cream. SR

 

**That involves getting up JB**

 

Might make you feel better, though. SR

 

**[ _Slight Delay_ ] Yeah. It does. JB**

 

I'm almost done. I think when we get home we should show people that their words don't hurt us. Post another photo or something... SR

 

**United front? We're not gonna back down cause words won't change how we feel? JB**

 

Exactly. SR

 

**Okay.  And maybe we can look a little more and try to find all the good stuff.  I want to read more of it. JB**

 

I'll look through it and find the nice stuff and read it out to you. SR

 

**Steve, I can handle it. JB**

 

I know you can, you're the toughest guy I know. But I'll do it, yeah? SR

 

**Fine. JB**

 

It'll be better if I do. SR

 

**Sorry, I shouldn't be so snappy.  I'm just frustrated that I let something like that get on top me so bad. JB**

 

That's okay, sugar. SR  
I understand. SR

 

**You're the sweet one. JB**

 

And you're a sap. SR

 

**You made me that way. JB**

 

I didn't make you nothing. You've been a sap since we were kids. SR

 

**Now that is a dirty rotten lie Rogers. JB**

 

Mrs. Fletcher's cat when it had kittens? You tried to get over there every day so you could cuddle them. SR

You tried to convince your Ma to take one home. SR

 

**It would have been for Becca. JB**

 

Yeah sure thing Mr. Sap. SR

 

**I was trying to be a good brother JB**

 

You were a good brother. You also would've played with the kitten more than Becca would have. SR

**You can't prove that. JB**

 

I don't have to. SR

Bet I could prove you would love a cat if I got one, though. SR

 

**You're not getting a damn cat just to prove a point. JB**

 

It's not like you'd stop me. SR

Because you'd want one. SR

 

**I would not. JB**

 

You do. SR

You want one don't you? SR

 

**...No. Who'd take care of it when we were away? JB**

 

Cats are quite adept at taking care of themselves. We could put in a cat door and fill up a cat tower so it could come and go as it wanted. SR  


**I still don't want a damn cat. Even if it can take care of itself. JB**

 

Fine. I won't get you a damn cat. SR

 

**...Did you want a cat? JB**

 

I thought you would have wanted a cat. SR

 

**Well I'm not going to admit to wanting a cat! Not after you calling me Mr. Sap. JB**

 

Aw don't be such a pissbaby. People can want cats. SR

 

**A pissbaby? That's what we're going with? JB**

 

Do you want a cat? SR

 

**Of course I want a cat Steve. JB**

**What kind of person doesn't want a cat? JB**

Then I'll get you a cat, dickhead. SR

I'll get it on the way home, a kitten from the shop. SR

**Go to the shelter. Get a rescue cat. Maybe a little scrappy one. JB**

 

Okay, I'll go to the pet store first and get all the stuff. SR

 

**You're the best Steve. JB**

 

I know I am. Tidy up the bathroom cause our baby will have to chill out in there for the first few days. SR

 

**Fine. But I'm keeping it company. JB**

 

I know you will be. I'll be home soon, we can post a picture of it with you and tell everyone we've adopted. SR

That'll show them. SR

 

**Right. Gay super hero becomes crazy cat guy. Winter Soldier drives Captain America to insanity. JB**

 

Sounds fun. SR

 

**Course you'd think so. JB**

 

I look forward to coming home sugar. SR

 

**With a cat or not at all. JB  
I kid. I’m looking forward to it too. I've missed you more than usual today. JB**

 

I missed you too. SR

I love you, sugar. SR

 

**Love you too sunshine JB**

 


	3. C U

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WHy is STeve TYPING like a 14 yEar old GIRL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be very difficult to follow, and i apologise (i made it easier by realising i was uploading it in the HTML screen not the easy one hahaha). Hold onto the fact that Steve is talking in text slang-- maybe Sam taught him it?? And Bucky uses Russian  
> I dont know, someone take the creative license of my younger self because this one is painful.... i think i didn't read it too intensely and you don't have to either hahaha

**It’s nice that your unit already has a sniper. Makes it easy to focus on you. [Unknown Number]**

 

How would already having a sniper make it easier to focus on me?

Wait.... how did you get this number? It's encrypted.

Who is this?

**Come on, Rogers. Aren't you supposed to be good at strategy and tactics? If your unit already has a sniper, I don't have to worry about covering anyone else.**

 

Who is this?

**Easy. The passcode is James Buchanan Barnes' birthday, and so is your door code.**

**You've always been a light sleeper, but that's fine. All I have to do is rub your back the right way and you go right back to sleep. The body remember, and so do you.**

 

If you think this is funny, Sam, I woulda thought you'd have more tact than this.

Or Natasha, or clint. Fuck off

**Wilson has manners. Natalya, not so much.**

**Barton isn't cruel enough.**

**Then again, they said I wasn't cruel enough, either. Easy to fix, apparently.**

 

Right.......... k well this has been a gr8 chat, but tony wants to go out for shawarma per tradition, so I'm gonna do that :)

See you guys when I get home! Russia is fuckin cold I tell yah

**Look at you, learning the lingo. You always were sharp.**

**You have no idea how cold Russia is, Stepushka.**

 

[2 hours later] Jks over, where'd you find an untraceable phone even by shield.....??? I h8 being friends with spies and shit coz I couldn't tell who was lyin

The russian is a nice touch tho, stick to the country

**Yes, you could. You always can. How do you always know, luchik?**

**Is it a gut feeling, or is the body language off?**

 

Kk, say u r actually Bucky and all these vibes im gettin means it's u, wtf dude

I hope u kno im just playin along

 

**What exactly is confusing you, pryanichek?**

**You have been begging your God for me to come to you, and here I am. Why look the gift horse in the mouth?**

 

Y reach out now? It's been what, 1yr of beggin, what would cause u 2 b like, oh yo whaddup hey

 

**[delayed] I've never been as brave as you are. I'm not the man I used to be, and I don't know that I ever will be.**

 

Still a poet at heart I c

**Hush. I'm trying to apologize.**

**I know it doesn't make the year any better. Or any of the years before that**.

 

So

R we just gonna keep txting or

 

**That depends on what you want, sakharok.**

 

U kno what I want

 

**I need you to tell me.**

 

Uve been spyin on me enough ;)

K well r u followin us back 2 US

 

 **I've been following you everywhere**.

 

K well

Wanna catch the flight home w us

 

**Did you know I was watching you?**

 

We have better planes and stuff

Nope I didn't kno

 

**And aren't you riding on Stark's jet?**

 

I can get him 2 send a seperate 1 4 us

**Don't. Stark has every reason to despise me.**

 

Tru but he's a good dude

**[slightly delayed] Do you want to stay with me for a while?**

 

In russia?

**Until I can arrange transportation to New York.**

 

That'd be cool :)

Ur not gonna slice me up like hannibal

??

**Hannibal?**

 

That's a joke

He's a cannibal

He eats ppl

**Stepushka, I won't hurt you. I won't ever hurt you again.**

 

K well u gotta kno that I gotta make precautions just in case

I wanna trust u but this could still be a catfish

**Tell whoever you need to tell, but please understand that I can't tell you where I am. I can show you, though.**

 

My bags packed tho, tell me where to meet

Or send a pic I don't mind

**I want you to feel safe. Whatever that means for you, I'll make it happen.**

 

I'll tell Nat I think that'll b enough

Where r u?

**My apartment.**

**You can call and text whoever you want. I won't restrict that at all. I will, though, ask you to get a phone the government isn't tracking.**

 

Already on it :)

Yes but where is that

**Russia.**

 

U want to send a pic so i can scan pic for location?

**You think I'm stupid?**

 

Yeahp :P

Ur the dumb 1

**Guess so. Took all the stupid with me, after all, didn't I?**

 

K I'll get the tech ppl to get me directions if u send a pic :)

**Good luck trying.**

 

K bud, russia is a big place, I can't find u with a picture if u encrypt it like that

U just wanna meet somewhere near ur apartment and then u can give me directions?

I can get a bike

**There's a coffee shop outside your hotel. Go down.**

 

Do I need the bike? Or my bags?

R we leavin now?

**That depends how long you want to stay.**

 

U said until ud organized transport 2 NY right?

**Yes. I won't restrict your access to your friends or the outside world in any way. You stay on your own terms.**

 

Sounds sick :) so I'll bring my bags

**Sick?**

 

Cool

B)

**The sunglasses face.**

 

U betcha

Coz that's cool

R u down there? Does Russia have lots of 24hr coffee shops

It's like 1am

**I know.**

 

Good 2 kno we can both read the time

**Do you know it's illegal for men to be in a romantic relationship with each other, here?**

 

Do u have a shower @ ur place ??

Yeah dumb aye

Lucky ur a fugitive so ur already illegal and stuff

**Yes. The water is only rusty for the first couple of minutes.**

**I'm the Winter Soldier. Winter isn't illegal in Russia.**

 

Sweet   
Oh cool so I'm the illegal 1

Breakin the rules 4 once

USA USA USA USA !!!!!!!

**For once?**

 

Hahaha

So I'll c u in like 10?

**You've always been a funny one.**

**Do you plan to let Natalya follow you the entire way?**

 

Haven't told her yet

**She's right behind you, though.**

 

Yeah I kno, she knos I'm txtin u but I'm not tellin her just yet

Like the actual plan

Stop watchin me u perv

She's not gonna follow me

**Don't pretend you don't like it.**

 

Go away Hannibal, I want the date to be almost normal ok

I'll b in the coffee shop in 10, can u not perv 4 that long?

**You don't like it when I watch you anymore, Stepushka?**

 

Omg ok we'll talk more abt it l8r

**That's what I thought.**

**You're buying me coffee, by the way.**

 

Of course ??? Gentlemen always buy the coffee ;)

**Are you calling me a dame?**

 

But not in a gay way. In case the popo catch us

Yeahp ur a right lady

**The police should pray to whatever God they believe in they don't lay eyes on me.**

 

K chill

**I did that on and off for seventy years. I think I'm chilled enough.**

 

Lol good cryo joke, don't kill any police

**Why not?**

 

Coz they got families n stuff

**They kill people like us.**

 

I need 2 get rid of all my tracked stuff, no time 2 talk politics

C u in 7.5mins?

K yeahp I'm gonna stop replyin anyways

C u !!!

 

 


	4. Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so turns out there were three little RPs on my hard drive, but i didnt want to finish this work on that atrocity previous chapter, so here is a nice little gif of the boys to finish on a high note. They're so attractive... man it's like 4:17am this stuff is v time consuming

 

absolutely amazing specimen


End file.
